flawed factory reject

body image.

 it is not something that a lot of people, girls in particular, like to talk about. 

we like to pretend that we all love ourselves and don't cry ourselves to sleep when we are pms-ing and bloated. 

there is an article that i found on facebook and it was kind of interesting. {you can find it here.} 

it is about a girl who weighed 300 pounds and got the weight loss surgery. she talks about even when she lost 180 pounds and was a size 2, she was mad at herself for not being a size 0. she said that losing the weight did not address any of the problems that made her heavy to begin with. but one paragraph she wrote really hit home for me.

"Magazine articles about body image talk about loving yourself despite your flaws. Sometimes they get really radical and they talk about loving yourself because of your flaws, and that is supposed to be empowering. And it makes me mad, because we're talking about flaws here. A body that doesn't look like the body of a Victoria's Secret model is a flawed factory reject. My thighs aren't the thighs of a figure skater, so they're not good enough, but I should love the flubby little things anyway because I am so incredibly self-compassionate."

this paragraph really made me think about my own body and my personal views on what i look like. now i know i am not heavy. i do not weigh 300 pounds but i dont look like a victoria secret model either and more often than not, i feel like a flawed factory reject. and i know i am not the only one out there! we are imperfect. no one is ever completely happy with their body { if you happen to be one of the lucky few who are completely happy with their body... please TELL ME YOUR SECRET!} but after reading it, i was left with a feeling of "now what?" 

even though i know it is ridiculous, i still hate that my thighs touch and i wish i could have a flat stomach. even at my skinniest, most fit times, i was never happy. i was always looking for something that wasnt perfect. i know that we are beautiful in our savior's eyes but how do i see my own beauty? 

i have resolved to stop looking for my flaws. i know i am not perfect but i want to focus on health instead of perfection. if i am eating right and working out, i need to be ok with that. i need to be ecstatic to have a healthy body that allows me to do the things that i love to do. 

we cant all be victoria secret models.

but we can choose to love who we are, even if we are flawed factory rejects ;)