good old adulthood

I find myself asking, "When exactly did I actually become an adult?" My adulthood seems to be slapping me across the face on a daily basis. Most days I feel ready to put on my big girl pants and attack the day, but at the same time I kind of want to curl up in my bed and watch endless episodes of the Vampire Diaries. Elena and Damon anyone?

I continually have to remind myself that I am only 21. Life should be exciting and full of unknowns. Yet, it is those unknowns that have me laying awake at night, wondering how my little family is ever going to make it.

 I used to think that I was an adventurous person who loved the thrill. But as I am getting older and making life decisions, I am realizing that the adventure is what scares me most. I want to live life to the fullest and at the same time, I am scared of making the wrong choice and having my adventure turn into regret. Nothing I have done so far has given me any regret. I love my life. I love who I have chosen to spend this adventure with. Life would not be the same without him but my side. But my {our} life is just beginning and there are so many life altering decisions to be made. How do you know when timing is right?

I am 21 years old. Done with college classes. Interning as a full time teacher, in charge of the learning of 21 seven year olds. Still learning to be a good wife. Trying to be a righteous daughter of God. Trying not to lose myself in the chaos of real life. Life is a gift and I am excited for the future. I just wish I had the cheat sheet.